Monday, March 24, 2008

All work

All work and no play is making my cranky. I still have 140 test questions left, and I can't decide if I should step up the number I do a day to finish in about a week (no promises as to the quality of the answers), or scale back the number that I do to be able to do other things, like scrapping and errands. But then I'll be right up against the deadline (April 25) if I slow down, which means anything-computer/internet troubles, a sick child, any unexpected event could throw me down the drain. What to do? What would you do? Keep in mind, test, not cheap.

The effect of not scrapping is noticeable in my stress level, in my OCD about the house, and in my general anxiety about dealing with unexpected crisis's that come up. I think scrapping helps me channel some of my energy away from cleaning compulsively and that is a good thing. I totally let the girl from the gas company have it today, after the 3rd phone call to straighten out an error. It seems when you move your account numbers change, even if you just move next door. Well, the utilities I paid last month, those were my neighbors utility account numbers, so I am fighting to get my money credited to my account. When will that nightmare end?

It has been hard because my better half is MIA, so totally immersed in work. I know he doesn't have much choice, but I miss him. And I'm overwhelmed. And I just really miss him. It's hard at the end of the day when you only get an hour at the most to spend together, and you have to decide if you are going to talk about the gas company, or that cute thing our kid did. I try to go with the latter, but I feel as if I'm keeping all the bad stuff to myself, drowning in it. Wishing I could tell him only for the sympathy. But he doesn't need to deal with all that right now.

So, right this moment, I'm choosing to be happy in spite of all of it. Because as a mom, I owe that to J.

3 comments:

janel said...

Just remember...when Mom isn't happy...no one is happy! Take care of YOU...that is a valuable lesson for J. to see....and you will have more energy for yourself. The housework is always there...no matter what, so try to "let it go". I have no doubt that you will finish the test with flying colors!
Smile my friend!!!!
Today is a golden nugget that you won't ever get back! :)

ali mclaughlin said...

Sorry your are feeling frustrated.. I have lots of days like tha! ha.. that first year for the guys is tough too.. it will get way better!

NancyJones said...

i am sorry your so frustrated girl chin up .