Thursday, February 12, 2009

A postcard from the edge. . .

Dear me,
Going to the pediatrician today was a huge waste of time and a big mistake. Let that be a lesson to you, no good deed goes unpunished. You wanted the appt, well you got it.  There is nothing medically wrong with your child, you suspected/knew that. You wanted an Audiology referral, you should have just taken it from the nurse when she offered it. No reason to see the pediatrician. And what you got after that was a boatload of lousy advice. 
Honestly, my pediatrician gave me a behavioral development referral, because maybe his behavior was related to not talking and being unable to communicate and maybe not. I call BS. My son is two, he has normal two year old behavior. Granted it's at the extreme end of the spectrum because he is strong willed AND can't talk, but it doesn't make him a problem child, a brat, or otherwise. I feel mortally wounded, and scarred as a mother to be told that my son needs to see a behavior specialist. Because he hit the door when he wanted to leave, and you know can't talk (and was then told he was getting a shot--double whammy).  Because he yelled to get my attention when speaking with the physician. You would think the doctor didn't spend every minute of every day with kids. Or maybe that says something. Maybe my child is so horrible that she felt like he was the worst she has ever seen and she was doing me a favor straightening him out now. 
My path ahead is that much more confusing. I feel like no one has mine or J's best interest at heart. Decisions are being driven by laziness on the part of this pediatrician or greed on the part of all these specialists. I mean, shouldn't everyone take a 2 year old to a behavioral specialist if this is the case? $$$ I'm sure mine is the only one to ever whine, yell and hit a door, right? 
It's been another set back, another disappointment, another dead end. Call the speech therapist and pray. Go forth, consume much guacamole. And make sure you put a compression bandage on that wound that is your heart. You are going to need it to guide you because J still needs you and the forecast is cloudy. So pull yourself together, get your game face on, and forget today. Every last pathetic word.
Sincerely, Me 


Lulu said...

*hugs* My DS didn't talk well for a long time. He used a few basic signs to let me know when he was hungry, thirsty, wanted more or needed a change. It was rough, because they get so frustrated and act out because of it :( He is now 4 next week and such an incredibly good kid. Sounds like you a great job.. Hang in there :)

Susan Beth said...

My heart breaks to hear you were treated like that! Honestly, I think banging on the door when you want to go but don't have the words to say so is quite smart - it effectively communicated the message. Peditritian should have noted his resourcefulness in communication - the fact that she didn't suggests she might be mentally challenged. I think you can get a referral for screening for speech and hearing through the public schools. Then you can take that information and seek out follow-up as needed (if needed). Everything that you describe about J sounds well within normal behavior - this is a challenging time in parenting where you are trying to create behavioral boundries while not crushing the spirit. It is hard. You are not the only one. Keep your chin up because it is clear to me you are the best resource J has.

Rita said...

Oh Danielle, I'm so sorry :( My oldest (9) is quite the challenging child and always has been. I had an urgent care dr. say some terrible things about how my DS acted when he was getting stitches in his lip at age 5. I cried for days. It is obvious you are a wonderful mom and would do anything for your DS! Don't let today get you down. It sounds like maybe your ped was having a bit of a bad day herself?? I think guacamole sounds like a good idea :)

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about what happened at the doctors, while the majority doesn't, some people just suck.
There is support out there, I just have to find it.
My littlest had developmental delays with her gross motor skills and she had someone come to our home for physical therapy. Is there some organization (ours was called INSPIRE) that could evaluate your son?
I hope today your heart doesn't feel so battered.

pakosta said...

my neighbors' son didn't talk til he was 3! not kidding at fact he didn't even walk til 18 months. he was behind in lots of things and is now at almost 4 just putting sentences together. don't worry about it! he will talk i am sure of it!
i am really upset that you were treated like your son is bad, that's NOT RIGHT! every 2 year old i know is just like that!

kristina proffitt said...

Hugs, my friend.
I hate coming across people in certain professions and realizing they shouldn't be in that profession at all. Ugh.
I will pray that God gives you the guidance you need to do what is right and best for your son. That is all that matters - not what some dingbat pediatrician says. More hugs! Thinking of you!

Close To Home said...

oh sweetie---- i'm with susan beth- my heart broke reading this. i will keep you in my prayers, and your DS. i hope that you have to never deal with a conversation/appointment like that again. you have a smart, sweet boy.

Jenn said...

Check with your local school district for some intervention. In Montana they have to be 3 yrs old but it would vary from state to state. As for the pediatrician...don't take it personally (I know easier said than done) go with YOUR mothers we just KNOW when things aren't right! My DD had some serious health issues early on and if it weren't for my GUT and just KNOWING something wasn't right...I don't think we would have ever gotten a diagnosis....
hang in there and never give up...we as parents are our childs's BESt and sometimes ONLY advocate!