Saturday, June 20, 2009


I haven't been a good blogger these past few days. There have been too many things going on that I haven't been able to drown out the noise and find my inner peace and quiet. It looked very likely that my sister might go in the hospital this weekend. Thankfully, at my insistence, she and my mom completed a work up as an outpatient and she was able to be at home. She had a CT scan Thursday evening, and although we were worried she might have adhesions (complications from her surgery) she instead has a massive Crohn's disease flare-up. Probably stress induced. She is being treated with prednisone (a blessing and a curse).

And when my phone doesn't ring about her, it rings from the rental company, the appliance repairman, and/or the contractors about the dishwasher flood of '09 (what I'm calling it) or my real estate agent, my new BFF. And I could go on and on, but truthfully that's the reason I haven't blogged. I don't really want to think about everything that's upsetting me. This is a low point, and it's up from here. 
This is a poem I was given as a physician assistant student, in the middle of my internships by one of my teachers. I've always loved it. I hope someday I can buy a really expensive copy of it and put it in my office, along with the painting "The Physician". It's called Desiderata by Max Ehrmann:

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, 
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, 
be on good terms with all persons. 
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; 
and listen to others, 
even to the dull and the ignorant; 
they too have their story. 
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; 
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, 
you may become vain or bitter, 
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. 
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; 
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, 
for the world is full of trickery. 
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; 
many persons strive for high ideals, 
and everywhere life is full of heroism. 
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. 
Neither be cynical about love, 
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, 
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, 
gracefully surrendering the things of youth. 
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. 
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. 
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, 
be gentle with yourself. 
You are a child of the universe 
no less than the trees and the stars; 
you have a right to be here. 
And whether or not it is clear to you, 
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, 
whatever you conceive Him to be. 
And whatever your labors and aspirations, 
in the noisy confusion of life, 
keep peace in your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, 
it is still a beautiful world. 
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

My favorite part is "And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." Because it is, I have faith. What I'm struggling with is focus, so many fires to put out. Feeling like I'd like to do something scrappy to help me relax. Happy weekend to you. Until tomorrow. 


Susan Beth said...

Keep your chin up and your faith in tact, and eventually things will fade into a memory and the joy of the everyday will return! Glad there is some treatment for your sister, even though it comes with the down side too. Hope she is feeling better a.s.a.p.

Rachael said...

I am sorry you are having a major low right now. I hope you feel better soon, and i am praying for your sister. I loved the poem.. seriously!! Oh and i am headed off to PA school in Aug.