Friday, June 25, 2010

Introspection

Enjoying our last few days of freedom before J starts school and I start work.

It's funny how the end makes you think of the beginning. I once read that having a child is like throwing a grenade into the middle of a marriage. I disagree with that. I think that having a child is like throwing a grenade into the middle of your life (if you are the Mom). I felt so happy to have my little guy and yet so lost that I didn't get up and go work with adults all day. I missed having someone to talk to who could talk back, although I am kind of used to one-sided conversations with my dog but still. It was the best of times mostly, and the worst of times some days. But I adjusted, changed, compromised, and in the end thrived in my new environment. Thrived as a Mom.
And now, well, it feels like a second grenade. A second explosion, leaving me feeling much the same way. Who am I now? What is expected of me? I know that work and school is what is good for both of us at the juncture and yet I still feel scared to death. I'm still a Mom, and a physician assistant but I'm not the same person I was before I had a baby. Change is so hard. Feeling the need to seek out much guacamole. :)
And it's not really the end, it's a new beginning. A new chapter. Sorry for the introspection. Here are some sneaks, still working with the kit:


Happy weekend to you! Until tomorrow. :)

5 comments:

Penny B. said...

Mmmmm...guacamole...

Sounds like you have a good perspective on things. Just take one day at a time and know that your son will benefit from other loving, caring adults in his life just like you will benefit from having them around you regularly.

janel said...

You will do fine! Change is constant, and often hard...and I am confident that you will do great. Enjoy the weekend, and go have some guacamole. :)

Kelly said...

Gorgeous sneaks Danielle!

It feels like so long ago - but I remember the first day that my last baby went off to school. I was lost.
This is her last year of primary school now, and will soon be off to high school.
It won't take long to find your feet again xxx

K said...

Those little sneaks are gorgeous!

I'm sorry you're feeling blue. Here's to hoping it gets better!

Have a good day!

Keshka said...

I definitely hear that--change is hard, and this is a big one. I'm sure it will adjust just as the past changes did, though:)