Thursday, March 12, 2009

Carbonation-induced Clarity

It's been a very interesting week, and it isn't even over yet. Friday just can't come soon enough.
 
I've fallen off the wagon, after 6 months of being soda free. I jonesed hard this afternoon for a Dr. Pepper and I just couldn't talk myself out of it. I wanted it, needed it, and kind of felt like I deserved one. Only now I have the sh, the sh, the shaaaakes from the caffeine. Wow, that's not a good idea before bed now is it? I guess nothing will be glued down straight with the scrapping tonight. :P
I'll spare you the play by play with the speech evaluation. Something that was supposed to take 1.5 hours ended up taking 3.5 hours, and not due to anything J did. I'm so grateful that dh could take off work when I asked him and that we went together with J to the eval, I just needed him there for moral support I think. He was great at keeping J occupied while I filled out forms, sat in the meetings. I don't know how I ever would have managed alone.
There was a lot of positive that came from the eval. J is a very smart and bright kid. He is well disciplined even if his behavior speaks to the contrary at times. He knows limits, he understands consequences. The group doing the evaluation could not stress enough how well he is being handled with love and patience by his mom and dad. He has a lot going for him, he really does. He just needs to learn how to focus his intensity in a positive manner. He was found to be slightly speech delayed, less than 5 months behind his peers though, so not as bad as we were fearing. He is  socially delayed though, but we are working on that in his play class twice a week. The evaluation recommended a therapist come and work with him once a week, to help not only with his speech, but also to help with his constant need to move around. I'm optimistic they are going to give us the tools to help him so that when he starts pre-school he can be successful in a classroom situation. Because we all know that no matter how bright you are, that if you can't sit in your seat when asked, you are going to be labeled a trouble maker. J isn't carrying any medical diagnosis at this point, and for that I am grateful. Everyone who evaluated him believed that he will eventually out grow these present difficulties. 
I asked dh a question in the car on the way home, J was immediately sleeping from all the excitement. I asked how all this was different from other 2 year olds, and we agreed that J is more. More intense, more stubborn, more active, more driven. And then I asked the dreaded question, how much is normal? And dh gave me the most hopeful explanation of the day. He turned to me and said, "Think about the best teacher you ever had, your favorite doctor to work with. They aren't normal, they are more. They have learned to take something that is considered a liability and turn it into an asset. Their weakness in time becomes their genius."  I cling to the hope that the traits J displays as a child, while they are not easy to parent, are exactly what he will need as an adult. And I feel like it is all going to be ok in time.
Thank you all for your support and concern. I felt lifted up by your comments and your prayers. I do have some projects, but we are expecting snow. I'm hoping the light will be better tomorrow. TGIF soon!

9 comments:

Audrey said...

I'm glad that good news came out of your evaluation. Don't stress over this. With any parenting / school / development situation, you have to learn to do the best you can do with the resources you have. And it definitely sounds to me as though that is what you are doing.

*Paula* said...

I'm definitely a believer that something that are be considered "bad" traits can be turned into good ones - stubbornness becomes determination etc etc. Just keep doing what you are doing :)

Carrie said...

It sounds like thing went better than expected & that is good. I can somewhat relate - DS had so many ear infections as a infant, his hearing was 30% compromised at age 1, which impacted his speech. After tubes, things improved. If anything, kids are so resilent and/or can offset the less than stellar traits with mind-blowing skills. My son's speech was somewhat below average at preschool, but his memory and spacial skills were above his age level. Hang in there & trust your Mommy instinct!

Jody said...

Your husband sounds like a wise man.
Hope most certainly is a wonderful thing!
And I love his "more" explanation :)

Lynn said...

hugs and prayers and what a great dh you have. and a wonderful child.

chelemom said...

I think your hubby said it beautifully........and it sounds like your little guy has the best support system he could possibly have. That means sooooo much!

Susan Beth said...

ENGAGED! That's what I call the "more" in my little boy. He is thoroughly engaged in the world around him, which means he wants to be part of all of it all at once. It is indeed a challege for parents, but man is it ever a gift for the child when given the opportunity to use it in positive ways. I think as a parent the hard part is finding the time and energy to create opportunities for the more to be used well. It is exhausting! It is challenging! At times it is frustrating! At times it feels like everything you do is to accomodate that more. But it is completely worth it and can bring much joy to a parents heart when the benefits begin to show themselves.

And the social delay, in my humble, non-professional opinion, goes along with it because an engaged child doesn't have time to wait for the other children to move on as quickly as he does. He's feeling "been there done that, time to find something new" when they are thinking "this is all there is, so let's stay and play." Funny how our brains all develop in different ways! Sounds like you and your husband are managing your way through this very well.

Sorry to ramble - seems to be what I do today.

Close To Home said...

So glad to hear some good news for your DS, Danielle. Hugs and prayers...

tina cockburn said...

What a great thing for your husband to say. Our son has some similar issues, and my hope for him in his life is exactly as your husband said. More. That was just awesome.

Aidan, who is six, has ADHD and CAPD. He's doing Therapeutic Listening and OT, focusing on core strength and fine and gross motor. He's made so many improvements this year! PTL!